This one if for neighborhood auntijies who are too busy peeping inside my house than their’s
Inspired By My Cousin Nayan .
It’s 2 PM, scorching hot and I am done with my exams, how abnormal do you think it would be to have friend’s over at my place? Well I just opened a bottle of coke and started with James Bond movie, when out of blue the doorbell rang. It was a little odd time to be expecting visitors so under impression that another of my friend might have arrived, I opened the door with a smile just to get it snatched away. It was the auntyji from the other side of the park and before I could open my mouth, with her eyes prowling behind my shoulder she popped up her question “What are you doing with your friends?” and I was like “How the fuck does it matter to you?” (obviously inside my head).
I am sure that this is not just one incident but all of us in Delhi have such auntiji’s but such sneaky eyes, probing brain and interfering nose as our neighbor. It;s not just Nayan (my cousin) but even my patience & politeness has been tested on numerous occasions by similar characters the only activity during their slothful housewife day is to sit on their window and gather intel about their surrounding. This intel is later shared & distributed among their sisterhood during their routine gatherings.
BBC : Bhenji (sisterhood) Broadcasting Corporation.
The network is generally strongly connected to different parts of the colony you reside in and they ensure that the sisterhood covers nearly all corners of the block you reside in. This way all the houses remain under their surveillance and it gets impossible to break their code “NO ONE ESCAPES”.
BBC : Creative ways to counter BBC Agents.
1. Ignorance : Well we all know this one. The best way to defeat their advances is to ignore their presence.
2. Sarcasm : This one is not meant for everyone, sarcasm is a weapon to be used on opponents with above average intellect. You surely would not like to speak golden and then elaborate the same in simple language. It just takes the charm out of kill.
3. Delude : Use some diversion, come up with spicy topic or cook up some hot gossip to ensure that her empty mind is occupied with something else. Send her on a wild goose chase (test your skills and try it multiple times :P)
4. Play Tit-for-Tat: Yes, how about giving her a taste of her own medicine. Keep an eye on her house for a few days and on every possible opportunity ring their bell to ask the questions she asks from you.
5. Be Straightforward : Well even though this is the lamest and tasteless of all possible alternates but works pretty well. Tell her to Shut Up And Mind her Own Business!! (little politely). Though the best thing about point 5 way is that it will save you a lot of effort but be warned that this will keep your wit unused.
So, Best of luck and feel free to share your experiences and ideas to counter the BBC